i'm sitting here, finally having one of those minutes of peace and quiet that i pray for oh so often. this one's a little different because i'm actually writing. usually i long for these down times at home or work and when i get them, i'm just so happy to not have to do anything that do exactly that, nothing. then as soon as i get busy again i'm kicking myself, wondering why i fall into the same ruts and never get to create what i feel in my heart. my passion, my creation.
so in a weird way i'm being counterproductive by telling you all this. my dream is to write story so i'm half there by writing, but i'm not telling a story like the one i feel at my core. i'll gladly take any writing i can muster right now though, so i'll quit complaining.
well, as many (or both) of you know, Rie and i bought our home this month. i hesitate to say that we bought our first home because i hope that this is the only house we ever live in. this is home. we don't screw around when we make a decision and as soon as we decided that we wanted to buy a house, we knew where it was going to be, down to about a 6 block radius. we moved to Rockford on friday april 24th and it has been beautiful.
i finally feel the pull to purpose that i've been craving and missing for a long time. getting home from work now i head out to work on my lawn or clear the gutters or any number of projects and what i've discovered is that i've wanted that need to toil. to rip off and alter a phrase from Chariots of Fire, when i am working on my little piece of heaven, i feel the purpose for which i was created. i love it. i've missed it even though i've never had it before.
having this place of our own has helped adjust all kinds of thoughts that i've been having about what is community, what is it worth to have to work for things, to toil over things, how important is my time, who should i spend that time with.
i don't know for sure what my final point is here, in fact i don't know that there is one this time. it feels random, it feels incomplete, but it feels right, and honest and beautiful.
i hope you can come by and see us sometime and hopefully we can share with you what this house brought to our lives, home.